I Wish I Was Queer So I Could Get Chicks

Artist: Bloodhound Gang

Song: I Wish I Was Queer So I Could Get Chicks( Album one fierce beer coaster)

Tabbed by: John Leadman

 

 

Pretty funny song! All just basic power chords. Play the verses

palm-muted and use only downstrokes. Strum the chorus normally.

That's all you need to know. Enjoy!

 

CHORDS:

 

 

A#5 (x13xxx) E5 (x79xxx)

A5 (x02xxx) D#5 (x68xxx)

B5 (x24xxx) C#5 (x46xxx)

 

INTRO:

 

[spoken:]

If your ass is a Chinese restaurant I'll have the poo-poo platter

 

 

VERSE 1:

 

A#5 A5 B5 C#5 E5 B5

My friend Jerry Vandergrift kissed me in Home Ec. class

 

A5 B5 C#5

Later in the afternoon some jarheads in the locker room kicked my ass

 

B5 A5 B5 E5

I said guys I'm like you I like Monster Trucks too

 

D#5 C#5 A5

Wanna see how many push-ups I can do?

 

B5 [stop]

I just wish I was queer so I could get

 

 

CHORUS:

 

E5

Chicks dig guys that are

 

B5

Queer guys that don't dig

 

E5 B5

Chicks that don't dig guys like me

 

A5

See I'm not queer I'm too ugly

 

 

VERSE 2:

 

A5 B5 C#5 E5 B5

But if I were handsome just imagine how great it would be

 

A5 B5 C#5

Incognito as a gay though but not actually that way though pseudo homo phony

 

B5 A5 B5 E5

Maybe it's a stupid theory or maybe just stupidity

 

D#5 C#5 A5

But if I was a queerbee in the fashion industry

 

B5 C#5

Scoring with a super model would be easy

 

 

VERSE 3:

 

A5 B5

Cause 'super model' means voluptuous but also is synonomous with

 

C#5 E5 B5

'super dumb'

 

A5 B5

Ya see I'd be a good listener so she'd treat me like a sister and

C#5 B5

soon I'd become

 

A5 B5 E5

That trusted friend that cares that rubs her back and braids her hair

 

D#5 C#5 A5

No it wouldn't be a week before I'm in her underwear

 

B5 [stop]

I wish I was queer so I could get

 

 

CHORUS:

 

E5

Chicks dig guys that are

 

B5

Queer guys that don't dig

 

E5 B5

Chicks that don't dig guys like me

 

A5

See I'm not queer I'm too ugly

 

 

VERSE 4: [play like Verse 3]

 

Doesn't matter what I'm packin' in my denim it's what's in my genes

The only smoked meat the only sausage I would eat is made by Jimmy Dean

See I'm not to keen on the smell of Vaseline

No I'm not Princess Di and I don't wanna be a queen

I wish I was queer so I could get

 

 

BRIDGE:

 

E5 C#5 C#5 B5 A5 A#5 B5 B5 A5 C#5 D#5

Chicks

E5 C#5 C#5 B5 A5 A#5 B5 B5 A5 C#5 D#5

 

 

VERSE 5: [play like Verse 3]

 

Anyway if I were gay I'd have to change my name to Dirk or Lewis

Hang out with my mom's hair stylist his name is Kip he's got a lisp

he talks like this

And wear my mother's lingerie learn the songs of Broadway

And appreciate Depeche Mode and avant garde ballet

I wish I was queer so I could get

 

 

OUTRO:

 

C#5

Chicks dig guys that are

 

B5

Queer guys that don't dig

 

C#5

Chicks dig guys that are

 

E5 B5

Queer guys that don't dig

 

C#5

Chicks dig guys that are

 

B5

Queer guys that don't dig

 

C#5 E5

Chicks that don't dig guys like me

 

B5 C#5

See I'm not queer I'm too ugly

 

B5

And I don't shave my heiny

 

C#5

Don't shave my heiny

 

E5 B5 C#5

See I'm not queer I'm too ugly

 

B5

And I don't shave my heiny

 

C#5

Don't shave my heiny

 

E5 B5 C#5

See I'm not queer I'm too ugly

 

B5

And I don't shave my heiny

 

C#5

Don't shave my heiny

 

E5 B5 C#5

See I'm not queer I'm too ugly